Monday 30 May 2016
Friday 20 May 2016
Writer's Block
I never used to understand what writer's block was. Didn't have a clue. I've always written, ever since I was old enough to hold a pen, but I'd never been stuck for words. Because that's what I thought it was - the inability to come up with words and put them down on a page. I had no idea it could come in so many forms and shapes and sizes.
And then I got it. It didn't come on quickly, didn't happen overnight. And it wasn't just to do with my writing. Because what some people don't understand is that us writers, we put our souls into every story we write. We have to, because a story without a soul isn't really a story at all. A story without a soul will never come to life. Every inch of us gets poured into every single page.
I'll be honest with you now - and this is difficult because it's not something I like to talk about. I got depression. That's the truth of it. It started off with a sad day here and there. Fits of tears for no reason. It was around about this time that I started a new story, a story that I just couldn't seem to get into, no matter how hard I tried. I kept at it, but the words I were writing just weren't clicking with me. The story had no soul. And this was a story that I'd been SO excited to write. The idea had been stuck in my head for months. I'd written notes, thought out the characters, had the scenery all planned out in my head. But no matter what I wrote, nothing about it made me happy.
And there was my first taste of writer's block.
I kept on at this story for a good few months before I finally admitted to myself that it was going nowhere, that I needed to put it away for a while and start on something new. By this time, my depression had gotten worse. I'd stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped doing pretty much anything at all. There were days where, if not for the fact that I needed to get up and take care of my daughter, I doubt I'd have gotten out of bed at all. I kind of lost the will to do anything at that point, even the things I loved - which included writing.
I won't drag the story out, but I beat back my depression. I never thought I would, but I did. But I got so out of sync with my writing and even when I was starting to feel like myself again, I still struggled to get my rhythm back. I'm still struggling, to be honest. But I'm getting there. Slowly but surely I'm getting there, and I'm getting it back.
I wanted to share this with my readers, wanted to explain why it's been over half a year without any new books. I owe you this, since you've all been so good to me and very patient. My next book is coming, I promise, and I'm getting back into the writing. It's a slow process, but it gets easier every day.
Another reason I wanted to share this was because I wanted to assure those out there battling with their own depression that it can be fought. It doesn't have to take your whole life away from you. People will tell you all the time that there will be a day when you don't feel so awful all the time and you might not believe them - I didn't - but that day will come. All you need is time.
And then I got it. It didn't come on quickly, didn't happen overnight. And it wasn't just to do with my writing. Because what some people don't understand is that us writers, we put our souls into every story we write. We have to, because a story without a soul isn't really a story at all. A story without a soul will never come to life. Every inch of us gets poured into every single page.
I'll be honest with you now - and this is difficult because it's not something I like to talk about. I got depression. That's the truth of it. It started off with a sad day here and there. Fits of tears for no reason. It was around about this time that I started a new story, a story that I just couldn't seem to get into, no matter how hard I tried. I kept at it, but the words I were writing just weren't clicking with me. The story had no soul. And this was a story that I'd been SO excited to write. The idea had been stuck in my head for months. I'd written notes, thought out the characters, had the scenery all planned out in my head. But no matter what I wrote, nothing about it made me happy.
And there was my first taste of writer's block.
I kept on at this story for a good few months before I finally admitted to myself that it was going nowhere, that I needed to put it away for a while and start on something new. By this time, my depression had gotten worse. I'd stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped doing pretty much anything at all. There were days where, if not for the fact that I needed to get up and take care of my daughter, I doubt I'd have gotten out of bed at all. I kind of lost the will to do anything at that point, even the things I loved - which included writing.
I won't drag the story out, but I beat back my depression. I never thought I would, but I did. But I got so out of sync with my writing and even when I was starting to feel like myself again, I still struggled to get my rhythm back. I'm still struggling, to be honest. But I'm getting there. Slowly but surely I'm getting there, and I'm getting it back.
I wanted to share this with my readers, wanted to explain why it's been over half a year without any new books. I owe you this, since you've all been so good to me and very patient. My next book is coming, I promise, and I'm getting back into the writing. It's a slow process, but it gets easier every day.
Another reason I wanted to share this was because I wanted to assure those out there battling with their own depression that it can be fought. It doesn't have to take your whole life away from you. People will tell you all the time that there will be a day when you don't feel so awful all the time and you might not believe them - I didn't - but that day will come. All you need is time.
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